When Writing Is Hard

I write a column for a small town newspaper that's part opinion and part slice of life. It used to be weekly but now it's about twice a month. I started writing it for my friend who took over ownership of the newspaper for which I was once a reporter. Sometimes, I get paid and sometimes I don't; but I don't do it for the money because I know she is on a tight budget.  I do it because I like to write about local things and I just like to write.

But sometimes the writing comes hard, both for my column and my books. Mondays are my deadline for the column so I start thinking about what I'm going to write for the next one around Tuesday. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't like last week.  I was completely blocked and couldn't come up with anything.

Lately, I've been questioning the value of continuing to write novels when I have five novels on Amazon, and four on Kobo and Smashwords that aren't selling---like less than a dozen a month. I never expected to make the best seller list, partly because scifi romance is a niche sub-genre with a specific audience. I also write contemporary romance and have a couple in the drawer that I have yet to publish.

Even though I find myself questioning the value of what I write, I also find I can't just quit. When I get blocked, I have several remedies that I try.  First I try working on another project.   If that doesn't work, I read, I walk, I watch movies, the news. 

Finally, an idea came to me in the form of an obituary of a well known local figure. It sparked an embarrassing memory of how I almost met him years ago. I say almost because he was standing behind me when I made a disparaging remark about a movie that he scripted.  Honestly, it was not a great movie, but it made over $72 million that put it in the top ten largest grossing movies of the year.

Of course I was mortified. Even though the movie wasn't great, the man was a successful author and writer and I wouldn't have opened my big mouth had I known he was in earshot. The movie was at least good for a few laughs, though thin on plot. But it was successful.

 So far, it doesn't matter whether my writing is good or not---some people think it is.  It's not successful.  I didn't make enough last year to pay for my website or buy advertising. I've tried marketing on social media with some positive results, but still not making enough to pay any bills. Maybe I could make money writing other things only that makes writing hard because I have to force it.

When you have to force it, it's not fun anymore.  I write what I write because it's fun and even exciting. I am free to do that because I'm not depending on it to make money. But it would be really cool if I did.