on August 23, 2017
NO.
NOT FOR ME. You can't have psy-mates since childhood while the male
lead has been man-whoring while thinking of her. Just no and EEWWW!"
I was horrified by recent review that panned Hankura as a manwhore in The
Aledan PSION because of an off hand remark to Casir as he was leaving for
Earth to find Chelle. While Aledan society is sexually permissive, Hankura was
never portrayed as a "man-whore". My poor choice of words
insinuated that he was making love to one woman while pretending she was
Chelle. That was not my intended interpretation of the incident. Chelle's
presence merely flashed in his mind at an inappropriate moment like a ghost
from the past. Time and distance from his connection with Michelle led him to
believe it was a one-time connection of two scared children one lonely night.
Although, Hankura was not celibate I never intended for him to be portrayed as
a "manwhore"
My whole book was trashed on the basis of one sentence. On that basis one unidentified person has told the whole world that my work has no redeeming value! It maybe only one word that led the reader to this mistaken conclusion. I had written fantasizing, when it was more like and intrusion into his mind "while he was fucking her." Or was his use of the f-word the problem?
The actual incident is never even portrayed in the book; it was merely mentioned once. Hankura was in denial about the ramifications of his psionic connection with Michelle. He promised he would go back for her when he was ten. While he meant it when he said it, his new life and years on Velran dimmed the memory until Michelle almost died and he gave her the knowledge to heal herself telepathically.
The paragraph has been re-written to hopefully correct that misconception. The
correction has been uploaded and should be available soon.
At this point, this is the only change:
"--Except for
Carianne until she realized that Michelle kept flashing in my mind when we were
having sex. It wasn’t like I could control it, it just happened. I would never
have hurt her like that on purpose," Hankura shrugged. "I loved
Carianne. But I feel like Michelle is wrapped around my soul. Mesgar said
I had best learn to accept the mind-link because I can't change it."
I am easily found on social media and I have a website. I am wholly open to constructive criticism. Posting a one star review on Amazon is telling the world you think my book has no redeeming value for whatever reason. Did you even read the rest of it?
The book does contain sexual situations and is recommended for readers 18+. Hankura was never meant to be portrayed as a"manwhore". He was simply struggling with a mental connection that he did understand fully until there was an dramatic epiphany.
The following is the chapter in it's entirety:
The Aledan
PSION
The following is the chapter in it's entirety:
The Aledan
PSION
"Michelle!" Hankura had been thrashing around for
quite some time before he bolted upright in his bed. His heart was pounding,
and his body was soaked with sweat. He groaned softly and tried to catch his
breath.
His roommate stirred in the bed across the room and roused
as he sensed Hankura's agitation. "You dreamed about her again, didn't
you?"
Hankura nodded his head. "It was more than a dream,
Casir. She needed me. I felt her
needing me, and I wasn't there. She nearly died. We were in limbo, and I
touched her soul. Then she found the will to live," he murmured. "I
didn't want to let her go."
"How long has it since you first mind-linked with
her?"
"Almost twenty years standard." Hankura sighed.
"Then Mesgar must have been right. She is your psi-mate."
Hankura shook his head. "That’s the only explanation
that makes any sense."
"That’s why you’re the only one who feels her in your
dreams light years away. That only happens with psi-mates," Casir said.
"Carianne believed it, you didn’t renew, and she left.”
"I kept telling myself psi-mating was just a myth
dreamed up by that madman Malkan."
"Maybe Malkan was crazy, but the prophet Narcaza
wasn't. He was your own ancestor, and he believed it," Casir pointed out.
"Mesgar believes it, too."
"Space! I have to go there and find her, Casir. I
could feel her reaching out to me as she was dying. I didn't want her to die.
She wanted me to help her heal her brother, too. But she was too weak. If I'd
pushed her too hard, she would have died, too, trying to save him. I had to
break contact because I couldn't stand her pain. Her brother is dead now, and
she's all alone. I promised to get her out of there a long time ago. I'm afraid
she might not make it until I get there. I've got another two years in the
program, and I don't know how long she can stay alive without Jerry to help
her. Half the time she thinks I lied to her, and half the time she doesn't
think I'm real. I feel her pain, Casir, I feel her despair like she's part of
me."
"Because she is. I feel your dilemma," Casir
empathized. "What are you going to do?"
"Take a bio-chip implant for the last two years,"
he said. The computerized organic implant would feed information directly into his
brain over a period of three months. By taking the last two years of medical
school through a biochip, he could leave Velran with his physician's
certification in three months.
"But, can you handle the headaches, Hankura?"
Migraines were a side effect of such implants, which is why most students
didn't use them.
"I know it can be pretty painful, but I can't wait any
longer. I have to find Michelle before those barbarians kill her. Maybe once I
know she's safe, I can get on with my life."
"Only if you include her in your plans."
"I don’t have a choice because I can't live in
constant fear for her life anymore."
"Care to make a small wager? Say 50,000 chips that you
two are psi-mated?" Casir grinned.
"I don't think so. I don't like the odds."
"Ah, so you are beginning to believe it."
Hankura shrugged. "Maybe I am."
After three months’ preparation, Hankura was ready to leave
on his journey. Casir went with him to the hangar at the Velran Starport to see
him off in the Mran spacecraft that
was waiting to be launched.
"It sure is a beauty," Casir said, admiring the
sleek triangular shaped craft.
"At a million chips, it ought to be. It's nearly
new."
The two men stood looking at the silver and blue craft in
silence. Hankura was dressed in a shiny silver flight suit, and Casir wore a
loose-fitting white suit that was currently fashionable among human males on
Velran.
Casir spoke finally after a long silence. "You
remember the first few days after you got here when I wouldn't even talk to
you?"
"Yes." Hankura grinned wryly. "I was ready
to choke you just so you would say something. I didn't know what you were
trying to do because you were so good at blocking everybody."
"Well, when you came walking into our quarters that
day, I had a feeling we could be good friends. I didn't want that. I knew that
one day you and I would be standing here like this, and I'd be losing my best
friend.
"You were lucky, Hankura. Your parents sent you here
because they thought they were doing you a favor---even if you didn't think so at
the time. My family sent me here with 5 million chips and said don't come back.
That was pretty hard to take . . .."
"I know," murmured Hankura. "It took me
awhile to figure that out." He paused. "You know you could come,
too."
Casir shook his head. A stark contrast to the Aledan, Casir
was as fair as Hankura was dark with platinum hair and amber eyes. The Aledan
held his gaze, studying those familiar features.
"I've done a lot of crazy things in my life, but going
to Earth with you after some dream girl is not going to be one of them . . ..
Besides, with you gone, someone will have to console Jana and Delara. It might
as well be me." Casir grinned suddenly.
Hankura grinned, too. "They always liked you better
anyway--"
"--Except for Carianne until she realized that
Michelle kept flashing in my mind when we were having sex. It wasn’t like I
could control it, it just happened. I would never have hurt her like that on
purpose," Hankura shrugged. "I loved Carianne. But I feel like
Michelle is wrapped around my soul. Mesgar said I had best learn to accept the
mind-link because I can't change it."
"My sympathies, friend.”
"This could be the best thing that ever happened to me
or the worst." Hankura sighed. "Going to Earth these days is an
effective way to get myself killed. It scares the hell out of me, but, I know
I'll never have any peace until I find her."
Casir swallowed hard. "What happens if you do find
her? You're not planning to stay on Earth, are you?"
"Certainly not! I promised my parents two years ago I'd
return to Aledus after I finish here."
"Oh yeah. I remember you arguing back and forth about
that for months on the com. I thought you finally decided not to go."
"Mother changed my mind. It meant so much to her, I
didn't have the heart to refuse her again. But that doesn't mean I'll stay
forever. What about you? What are your plans?"
"I'll let you know when I decide. ...if I can find
you."
"I'll leave word with my family . . . if I make it
back to Aledus."
"You will. I have faith in you." Casir held out
his hand, not fooling his friend at all. Casir was worried. Earth was a
dangerous place ever since the Procyon Wars. This might really be the last time
they ever saw each other.
They both knew it.
Hankura shook Casir's hand and turned to board the ship. He
stopped abruptly and turned back to embrace his friend, briefly. No more words
were necessary. After one last look into Hankura's dark green eyes, Casir
nodded, and Hankura turned without looking back to board his ship. Casir
watched the hatch close behind him then turned and left the hangar.
Although he couldn't watch Hankura go, he was glad he had
finally accepted Hankura's friendship. The Aledan was the best friend he would
ever have.
The glaring sun
warmed the freshly turned earth as Michelle knelt planting her seeds in the
small groove she had just made in the dirt with her fingers. She paused in her
work for a moment to brush at the perspiration beading on her forehead. Her
stomach growled with hunger, and she glanced over her shoulder toward her cabin
and then out over her garden patch. Some tiny seedlings were already sprouting
in the rows she planted a few weeks ago. One more row and she would be finished
planting for the season. Then she would eat and maybe cool off in the nearby
stream while she washed off the dirt and sweat.
The moon signs
were right according to talk she had overheard from some farmers at the farm
market. She was counting on a harvest big enough to sustain her through the
harsh winter snows---if the scavengers roaming the mountains didn't come along
and steal from her like they had from those farmers that complained at the
market.
Of course, she
wouldn't have to worry about surviving the hard mountain winter if she hadn't
left Berke's protection months ago. Berke had rescued her from a gang fight
about a year before Jerry was killed. She didn't understand why he had helped
her at first, but Jerry knew. Berke wanted her. It was as simple as that.
Because he had saved their lives, Michelle believed she owed him. He could be very
pleasant and charming when he wanted to, and it was nice for a while to be
protected and cared for. In return, she gave him what he wanted from her---her
body and a certain degree of affection. She even had begun to care for him
until he started playing his sadistic little games with her.
Sometimes he was
tender and loving, other times, he would make her play perverted sex games that
went way beyond a little BDSM. It was torture. The man was like two people.
Michelle soon came to fear and hate him. She left him, but he sent his thugs to
bring her back. Berke rewarded them with a night of raping her.
Jerry rescued her
two days later. "I'm going to kill him!" Jerry swore after he saw her
bruised and swollen face and the tormented look in her eyes.
"No, Jerry. He'll
expect you to do something like that. Maybe it's what he wants, so he will have
an excuse to kill you. I'd like nothing better than to kill that scum, but we
wouldn't have a chance against his thugs with only daggers for weapons,"
Michelle cried. "I just want to get out of here. Please!"
Jerry hugged her
and let her cry for a while until he figured out how they could escape. They
stole one of Berke's hovercrafts and abandoned it a few kilometers from his
compound, then went into hiding. When she recovered, Jerry taught her how to
fight more effectively. Her new skills had come in handy more than once, but
Jerry's death taught her that she still had much more to learn.
And sometimes, it
was better to run. Michelle wished she and Jerry had run that day.
Michelle had spent
most of the day digging out all the plants growing between her neat straight
rows. It was nearly sunset, and she was tired, hungry and thirsty. But she
forgot her discomfort as she raised her eyes to the clear, blue sky. For one
brief moment, she remembered the dirty and frightened little girl that crouched
in the alley alone that rainy night. Sometimes, that little girl was too much a
part of her.
As she scanned the
sky, Hankura's promise whispered itself into her mind again. She shook her
head, trying to deny the memory. She couldn't. She wanted to run and hide, but
instinct told her there was no place on Earth to escape his beckoning.
I’m coming for you,
Michelle, I’m coming… And I will be there soon.
Jed Rankin pored over the readout data, again and again,
searching desperately for the information Berke demanded. It just wasn't there.
The tiny Mran spacecraft had vanished
from the screens less than a minute after he'd given the Aledan pilot ground
clearance.
Jed realized belatedly he never should have shot his big
mouth off in the first place---especially not to Evans. The little bastard had
run straight to Berke with the news. Now he was in a helluva mess. If he didn't
come up with the information Berke wanted, the Overlord would see that he lost
his job at Farringay Starport. Then how would he take care of Marla and the
kid?
At least he'd warned Hankura, which was probably why the
Aledan's tiny blip had disappeared so quickly from the scanner screens. Jed
shook his head and nervously smoothed back his thinning red hair. Berke sure as
hell didn't know what he was asking. That tiny Mran could have veered off in any of a thousand different
directions from after the scanners had stopped picking it up.
Jed pursed his lips and frowned at the screen again. Just
why was one Mran so important to
Berke? Tiny ships like that slipped by the scanners all the time. Often their
pilots never bothered to ask for ground clearance. Immigration hardly bothered
with them so, why should he? None of the ships stayed long, and there wasn't
much damage they could do to the Earth that hadn't been done during the Procyon
Wars. In 800 years, the mother world of humanity had not yet recovered.
Little hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and Jed
straightened up in his seat at the forbidding shadow that fell over his
workstation.
"Well?" Berke demanded. "Did you find
it?"
"N-not exactly," Rankin stammered nervously,
trying to decide whether to call this well-known cut-throat 'sir.' Fine clothes
and smooth manners couldn't change what he really was. "I can only assume
that the craft probably held to its course and landed somewhere in the
mountains east of here. If not, then I really can't help you Mister
Berke."
Berke glowered at the cringing man for a moment and
satisfied himself that the little weakling was telling the truth.
"The mountains, eh?" he repeated, and a sardonic
grin creased his rugged face. "Thanks, Rankin."
Berke turned without another word and swaggered out of the
dispatch room. When the door whooshed closed behind him, Rankin sighed in
relief, mopping his brow with a handkerchief. Berke was the last person in this
part of the world a man would want to antagonize. Those who crossed him usually
didn't get a second chance . . ..
As Redmyn Berke left the starport complex, he went out to
the nearby hover station and climbed into his auto-piloted hovercraft.
"Did you learn anything?" Bart asked eagerly when
Berke slid onto the seat across from him and his partner Mason.
"Yes." Berke nodded tersely to the thugs and
reached for a drink from the dispenser to his right. "How would you and
Mason like to pay a visit to my little Michelle again?"
"What?" Bart's mouth dropped open. "I
thought you had her wasted."
"She got away." He paused with a frown then his
expression grew smug. "That Rankin thinks the Mran might have landed in the mountains. Michelle is there. Perhaps
she has seen or heard something . . . And even if she hasn't, I decided I want
her back. Bring her." Berke paused and met their eyes each, in turn, an
ominous warning of his own. "No games like before. I don't want either of
you screwing her. She's mine! Don't hurt her."
"But I thought . . . " Mason began stupidly.
"Yeah--well, you thought wrong," Berke retorted
and swallowed the contents of his glass. The fiery liquid burned all the way
down, filling his treacherous gray eyes with moisture. "I just thought she
needed a lesson," he muttered and reached to fill his glass again.
"She's mine. You'll just have to settle for your cut after we sell the Mran. A few more of those handy little
ships and we'll have Wingale as well as Farringay in our conglomerate. Then,
who knows?"
Berke pressed for two more glasses of whiskey and passed
them to Bart and Mason. "Drink up, gentlemen. We must make plans.”
Copyright 2017 by C. A. MyersAll Rights Reserved
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